Once a Boy, Always a Boy
by Ceaselessly into the past
Summary: Adam Torres has ran away from his home...to "find himself". What will happen when he returns back to Degrassi and his life, a changed boy?
1. Chapter 1

"And what about the stitches, Doc?" Uncle Frank asked from the chair beside my hospital bed. I was trying hard to not make any eye contact with Doctor Conner, trying to avoid any awkward confrontation. I only paid attention to my nervous fidgeting with my fingers on top of my baby blue hospital sheets. It...Everything...still felt so goddamn weird. But, don't get me wrong, it was definitely a good weird. A real good weird. Now, I don't have to listen to people say "You are what you are where it matters. That's all you need.". Mom, Drew, , Eli, Clare...I have appreciated it, of course. I liked that they somewhat tried to understand what was going on with me, but it feels good to be who you truly are. After years of torture from others, from yourself, things just felt peaceful. But so unfamiliar, though not uncomfortable. Does that make any sense? Doctor Conner took more time to answer Uncle Frank's question, trying to catch my gaze.

"It is recommended that Adam, you, go easy for the first couple of weeks. No heavy lifting, nothing that will exert yourself too much." He said while signing off something on his clipboard fiercely. Uncle Frank slapped the palms of his hands on his worn out painting blue jeans. He rubbed them up and down then casted me the largest grin I have ever seen on his face. He clapped me lightly on the back and I smiled whole heartedly back at him. I didn't "try" or "fake" a smile anymore, this one was pure. My fidgeting stopped and I felt Dr. Conner's looming presence over us.

"Thank you, Uncle Frank. Thanks a lot." I said, not finding a true proper word to thank him with. He shoot a smirk in my direction, reminding me sometimes of my shy smirk I give.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Adam, truly." He said and Dr. Conner coughed and brought our attention back to him. "Mr. Tanner, if you wouldn't heading over to the front office, to sign off on the papers and prescription." He said and Uncle Frank nodded while he stood. He clasped my shoulder with his firm grip.

"After I'm done with that, I am calling your mother." He said, sternly, knowing Adam did not like that idea. His Mom would only worry and that would make him feel so bad.

"I don't know if that's...a...good idea." I said warily but he just shook his head. "I gotta, Adam. Sorry, son but I am." He said and left the hospital room without waiting for my response. I leaned back into the pillow, frustrated with Uncle Frank and myself.

"I'm glad I have some time along with you, Adam. To explain some...private stuff to you." He said and I could literally feel the awkward tension in the air become even more heavier. If that was even possible. I nodded along with him, anticipating what he was about to say next. "Everyone clearly knows about your chest surgery, but only you and I know about your internal organs surgery. There are some...side affects that come along with this." He said and the blush was burning up to my cheeks. I know he's a doctor and this is what he does for a living and I should have no trouble trusting him but something tells me he doesn't usually get a lot of surgeries like mine. He must have saw my stressed face that he scrambled to reassure me.

"Oh, no, don't worry. Everything will function probably. Urination, and...um...you know." He said and I must have been as red as a tomato. "Well, with these prescription," He tossed them in my direction, "we have inserted testosterone in them. The affect of it should kick in...about a week. You will begin to grow some little hairs on your chest, armpits and legs. The usual. But...you will also have many hormones bouncing around..." He said, his voice wavering. Oh, Dear God. We can't go there. I shot up from my bed and held out my hands.

"Look, uh...Dr. Conner, I appreciate you trying to talk me through this and I know it must be mandatory. But, um, I think I got what you were trying to say." I said in the most awkward voice I could muster up. He chuckled after a long time of silence. Oh, thank the Lord, he understood.

"Alright, alright, Adam. But, just so you know it is completely normal and most people find the feeling quite-" He never caught to finish his statement because I let out an inwardly moan. He laughed one more time, putting his hands up in surrender and walked right out the door. I breathed deeply and began to gather my things. I changed into a spear pair of blue jeans and a baggy grey t-shirt that Uncle Frank brought over for me to get changed into when I was able to get out of the gown. In the bathroom, I reframed from looking at myself in the mirror. I was giddy to see what I looked like, what everything looked like but I decided not too. I didn't want to see the scars. I opened the door quietly but stopped halfway when I saw that Uncle Frank was talking in hushed tones on the phone. If I moved close enough, I could her Mom's voice on the other line. "It's done, Audra. He's so happy." Uncle Frank said over the phone to Mom. I heard her little sobs on the other line. Oh, Mom, I wish it could've been different. She found her voice between her sobs.

"We all wish we could've been there with him. Gosh, Frank, I wish I could've been there with him." She sobbed out and I heard the chatter beyond her. Drew, my brother, and Omar were for sure there. "I know, Audra, I know. I think he wishes that too, but this was how it had to happen. I wasn't happy with him running away to do this but it was what he needed. It was better for everyone." He said and I heard more chatter that was to quiet for me to hear.

"Yes. He still has one more month left of summer and he'll stay it with me, to recuperate. Don't worry, Sis, I'll take good care of him. I promise. Yes, I will send him your love." There was some more talking on the other line then Uncle Frank ended it.

"Audra, he's changed but for the greater good. He's so happy, I wish you could be able to see this. Audra...Gracie's gone now. No Gracie, just Adam." He said and ended the call then went back to the nurse at the front. Just Adam. I liked that.


	2. Chapter 2

"And...fifty." Uncle Frank said while helping me lift off the bench press from my chest. He made a big huff as he brought it back up to it's holsters. I rested my hand on my new found muscular chest and took large deep breaths. I sat up on the bench and reached for my towel. I dapped it across my forehead, which was slicked with sweat. I took a swig of my water bottle, then another one. I felt my arms pulse in pain, my heart almost restricted against my rib cage. I checked my pulse then stood up. Wow, did I hurt. I stretched out while Uncle Frank passed me my shirt.

"First, have a shower because you stink, then get packed and be ready for me to take you to the airport." He said and looked more closer to me. He grabbed my chin and tilted my head to the right then the left."_What's up, Uncle Frank?" I asked him and I heard him chuckle deeply. _

"_After that shower of yours, you should shave there, Cassanova." He said and laughed his way to the house from the garage. I touched my chin and cheeks and I smiled brightly. He was right, I totally needed a shave. _

I made my way out of the Toronto Airport, calling down a cab. I didn't mention to Mom when I would be arriving, only that I would find my own way home. She eventually obliged, knowing that I had to do this on my own. I thanked her and said I would see her when I got home. The taxi zoomed up and I told him where to go.

Thirty minutes later I was in front of my house. I silently paid the guy and he went off. But I didn't go in. I stood out there, wondering if I should even go in. I wanted to just get back on that plane and leave everyone I know and just get away from here. I wanted to do that before the surgery too but now I am a changed person. It had to be different this time. I looked to the driveway, seeing that their was no cars in there except for Drew's. Which meant Mom and Omar were gone, for now.

I made my way up the steps but hesitated when I say the blinds upstairs move and a figure came from it. My mouth went dry, my pulse pumped harder, my heart completely stopped because there was Bianca, with nothing on but a red lacy bra. I felt this weird attraction, making me pull to her. I suddenly felt good...in very awkward places. My breath became faster, my body began to heat up but she left my vision before I totally combust. I tried to console myself, telling myself that it must have been what Dr. Conner was talking about, with all the hormones. But, Bianca and I did have a serious past. First it was a good one, I thought she actually liked liked me but I knew it was too good to be true. She was sexy as hell, everyone wanted her or wanted to be her. She had a strong rebellious streak that parents usually hate, except Mom, she had brought Bianca in like her own. One of the things I love about Mom.

Anyways, getting of track. Then Bianca was about to playfully push me away but felt my chest instead and revealed to the whole school that I was transgendered. Unlike my close family members, she wasn't as...supportive. Then we began to talk again and she slightly accepted me when she began to date Drew. Even before all these hormones, it was hard not to be a little jealous over my brother, being able to be with her all the time and doesn't need a reason to. I sighed and made my way up the steps and quietly opened the door. I heard Drew and Bianca's flirtatious giggle from the couch in the living room. My jealous rage seemed to be all over the place,_ what the hell?_ I moved up the steps to my room and quietly and quickly as I could. I threw my bag onto the floor and made my way across to the bathroom. I sighed and took my shirt off so when I watered down my face ti wouldn't get on my shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was Adam. I had hard contours on my face. My jaw was tight and stilled, my feminine high cheekbones had vanished. My eyes were still baby blue that had a streak of softness in them. My brown hair was cut but had a light swoop at the top of my forehead, making me look somewhat mysterious. God, it felt good to be me. My chest was hard and muscular, toned. I felt self conscious about my body, knowing that everyone's is probably so much better. Like Drew's and all of the guys who lust after Bianca.

Speak of the devil...I heard her laughter come up the stairs. "Not yet, Drew. But soon, I have to have a shower!" She giggled and her voice shivered up my spine. God, this attraction is something I have to get a hold of. I was about to make my escape out of the bathroom when the knob turned. Shit, shit, shit. I scurried around the bathroom, finding place to hide but don't want to scare her. I couldn't find anything so I stood in the middle waiting for the door to open. She swung it open and walked right up to me and gasped. Her brown luscious eyes that turned you into mush widened, her brown beautiful curly hair falling in little locks that are coming astray around her face. I was so tempted to move it away from her gorgeous complexion, but she blew it away.

"Shit..." She whispered, her mouth wide open while her eyes wandered down my body. She hesitantly moved her hand, reaching for my chest. One finger grazed the scar, making endless shivers and quivers beginning in sensitive spots. Her other full hand rested on my muscles, giving them a tender squeezes that made my heart race. I tried to hold the moan in by basically closing my throat. She rested her hands both on my chest, making the warmth seep from my chest to my face. Her lips looked so soft and smoothed, and just so goddamn kissable. She met my gaze finally, cocking her head to the side, then to the other side. I swallowed deeply and fixed my jaw.

"B-B-Bianca?" I hesitated and she blinked multiple times, taking a deep breath and then stepping away. We stared at each other in silence, looking into each others eyes. Until she had to go an punch me in the arm. "Ow!" I howled, that was definitely the last thing I thought she would do. She rolled her eyes at my dramatization.

"What the hell, Adam?! Audra, Omar and Drew were fucking worried sick about you!" She yelled into my face, her brown eyes ablaze. I wanted the bewildered Bianca back. I took a deep sigh, reaching for my shirt, not wanting to look in her eyes. I felt the cotton slip down my skin and I finally looked at her. "I know. Look, it was the hardest-"

But she blew up before me again. "No, you LOOK, Adam. You're a real asshole, you know that?" She bursted out, her cheeks aflame. Now, I was the one who was bewildered. "For fuck's sake, you had ME worried. I worried the hell out of you, Adam. Me! It takes a whole lot of shit to make me worry, I'll tell you that."

I tried to act guilty, to act like that I was so sorry I hadn't told them or just had not ran away in the first place but I couldn't. It took all my might to just hold in my smile, she worried about me. Which meant some part of her cared about me. Me! The guy who has wanted her secretly forever, the guy she used to be totally disgusted by. The guy who she thought was a girl. I felt a pull towards that was undeniable, a pull that had an incredibly strong hold on me. My hand flinched to run through one of her precious curls, my eyes wanted to look deeply into hers forever, my ears wanting to hear her whisper things to me that she only said to me, my heart wanted her to feel the same way that I did. All things that I wanted but could never have. I had to move away from her before I did something rash, like...kiss her or something. I stepped around her and into the hallway, but I could feel her right on my heels. She turned me around with a strong grasp on my forearm and I suddenly met her gaze. She had her mouth open but didn't say anything, her hold becoming a caress that was completely unexpected. She widened her eyes and blushed deeply, pulling her warm touch off of my arm.

"I worried about you so much, Adam. I-I-I...WE care about you, Adam." She said so softly I almost didn't hear her. Was...was she about to say "I care about you"? Or was that just my insane but needy imagination? I was about to respond, my mouth opening slightly but she cut me off again.

"And don't give me some stupid crap about how this was the way it had to be." She said and gave me the most frightening "I'll kick your ass" Biance glare so I stayed quiet. I heard far away steps behind us.

"B, what the hell-" Drew stopped short at the top of the staircase. His eyes became large and he barreled towards me. He wrapped me into a large bear hug and chanted my name. I laughed lightly and I patted my back, I was glad someone was happy to see me.

"Whoa, damn, man. You're heavy!" He announced while putting me down and I smiled slowly towards him. "You're back." He said, his grin large. "I am. Speaking of that, I better go unpack." I said and inched my way towards my bedroom.

"Alright, but come done as quickly as you can!" He shouted as he made his way down the stairs. I turned back to Bianca, who was smirking and looking sexy as ever. "Aside from my outburst, I am glad that you're home, Adam. I am." She said, her words suddenly warming my heart. She smirked one more time and then made her way towards the shower.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bianca's P.O.V:**

Adamsatacross from me at the kitchen table. Audra had just made some sort of delicious pasta, with a nice salad at the side. She scurried around the kitchen, making the dinner, but every 5 seconds she turned to Adam and hug him tightly before getting back to the dinner. She had asked him a million question about the surgery but all of us wanted to know. All he said was that everything went smoothly and all according to plan. He never went into any detail, just very vague answers. Audra held his hand through the whole dinner, and kept holding it and smiling even after the table went into an awkward silence. Drew had his hand on my knee, sending me little smirks but I shook my head lightly. With my eyes I said "not now." The table was awfully quiet, the only noise was the clank of forks and knifes on the plates and Omar's cough once in awhile. Adam looked at all of us and smiled. Then he turned his stare to Drew and Omar.

"So, how 'bout them Leafs? Are they gonna suck this year, or what?" He stated, putting on a fake serious guy accent. Omar cracked a smile and Drew chuckled. "Well, I don't know, it's pretty dicey for them." Omar stated and just like that the table went under chatter that was peaceful. It was like Adam hadn't left.

Adam and Omar continued their conversation while Drew and Audra were talking about upcoming weekend events. Drew and her would ask for my input once in awhile but I had the perfect time to finally observe Adam. God, he changed. His chest was completely unbelievable, he for sure worked out over the summer. A blush suddenly crept up my cheeks, (What the Hell?), at when I thought about how stupidly I touched his chest. Wow, I practically harassed him. Like what I was doing right now. I told myself it was just pure curiosity about just how well the surgery went. To be able to go to girl parts to guy parts, was outstanding. His personal attitude had no changed one bit, still shy and insecure little Adam. But, except, he's not. Little, I mean, anymore. Nor is he, which I'm guessing, insecure about his body anymore. And even if he was, it would be completely insane. He's almost as buff as his brother but he has more of a rugged edge to himself. Maybe it was the scars...Or maybe those tortured baby blue eyes...

"Bianca?...Bianca?...B?" I heard Drew's voice in the background. I shook my unyielding gaze away. "Wha...What? Oh, yeah, sorry." I said, turning back to Drew but not before I saw a little blush carry up Adam's neck to his cheek. I smirked to myself at his reaction.

"Mom was wondering if you were up to going to the lake house this weekend, with us?" He asked. "Oh, sorry! Yes, of course, I would love to." I said, nodding along with the idea. Adam suddenly stood up and everyone sucked in their breath, turning their gazes toward him. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. I was just tidying the dishes." He said with a smirk on his face. "Mmmm, I'll help." I said and helped gather the dishes with him. We walked to the kitchen beside each other as the others still talked.

"You wash, I'll dry?" I asked him, while grabbing a tee towel. "Sounds like a plan." He said and gave me a little smile that put butterflies in my stomach. That's odd. We did our work in silence, but unlike the one at the table, this one wasn't awkward. It was...just comforting. And us being so close did help a little.

"Do they hurt? The scars, I mean." I asked him while putting the plates away. I heard the water stop and he stood still. He breathed a deep sigh. "Yes. Well, not a lot. Just little flashes, but when they do come, they hurt pretty damn bad." He said while just finishing off one more dish. I nodded along with him. We didn't talk after that, only speaking up when Drew came in.


	4. Chapter 4

**One Month Later:**

**Adam's P.O.V:**

"Canyoubelieve it_?_! A break? What the hell is a break?"Drew came storming in through the living room. I paused the video game I was playingwith Eli. I took my head set off my ears after murmuring something to Eli. "Gotta go. Drew drama." I whispered and signed off once I heard his chuckle on the other end. Drew came in and plopped down beside me, his eyebrows creased in frustration. His eyes were aflame in anger.

"What-"I didn't have time to finish my question because he was already ranting. "Bianca. She said she wanted to go on a break. A break. Not a break UP, but a break. What does it mean? Tell me, Adam, what the hell does that mean?" He asked, his nostrils flaring while flexing his fingers in and out ofhis palm.

I stopped blinking, I stopped breathing, I stopped thinking. Everything shut down inside of me except her. Except Bianca. Just Bianca. No Bianca _and_ Drew. Just plain Bianca, by herself. Not dating anyone. If Drew was not in front of me right now, pouring out his heart to me, I would be leaping for my phone and calling her. But, I couldn't do that now.

"Tell me, Adam, please. Enlighten me." He said, his anger slowlydissipating. "I think it's-" I didn't get to finish what I was saying, again. "I know what it means. It means another guy. Another guy!" Drewexploded off the couch, making his way to the steps upstairs.

I swallowed deeply, could it be another guy? "But, knowing Bianca, it could be many _guys." _He said, storming off up the steps. My heart dropped. _Many guys? _

**Bianca's P.O.V:**

"You broke up with Drew?!" Fiona gasped in surprise once I told her. We were in our apartment, I was laying down in my bed, starring at the ceiling. I took a deep breath, preparing to explain to her.

"Not, per say, a break _up_." I started off saying, knowing she wasn't giving up without an explanation. But I really, really wanted her to because all I wanted to do was talk to must have told him already, right? I wonder what he was thinking about this...news.

"Drew?! With Drew?" I heard a voice speak from the doorway of my room, but it was Imo's_. _I stood on my elbows, my head bend, my curly brown hair falling around me. "Glad you can join, Imogen." I sighed as she sidled up next toFiona, they both looked at me with blank and surprised stares.

"No, it's...a...break." I said, rising from my position on the bed. "A break?" Imogen asked, her face one of pure confusion. I had to hold back my urge to roll my eyes. Fiona's eyes bulged, her hands coming to her mouth. She loved Drew just as much as she loved me but she couldn't help the true excitement in her grabbed the hands of her girlfriend, Imogen, and jumped up and down on my bed.

"O-M-G! Oh my wow! Imo, it's a new guy. Another guy, isn't it, B?" She asked, her voice reaching a very high level of excitement. I turned mygaze away from them and fell back on the bed. I tired to hide my smile as I thought of Adam. "Maybe." I whispered loud enough for them to _hear_. They both squealed.

"No way!" They both bursted onto the bed on either sides ofme. Imo reached for my hands and shook them. "Tell _us, tell us, tell us!"_She screeched but I just shook my head. _I_ couldn't tell them that itwas Adam, my so called ex's brother. That just wouldn't go by well_. _

"Maybe, one day." I said and rose from the bed, leaving them with pouts ontheir faces.

I sat on the couch, flicking through the channels on the T.V. when Fi and Imo went out for dinner. I settled on a repeat of a older Gossip Girl episode. I think it might have been Season...1? Judging by Chuck Bass's hair and that Dan and Serena were together in this one. I was about to grab a snack when a light knock sounded at the door. I froze halfway to the kitchen.

Fi had a key, so she wouldn't have to knock, it wasn't Drew because he never knocked softly. My phone vibrated from the table beside me. I jumped to to it a scrolled through the missed texts from Drew to look at the most recent one. Owen? Ugh. He must have heard about the break up already. I was so not ready to hear what speech he had today about how I should go out with him. The knock was still a steady beat at the loft door.

**Adam's P.O.V:**

I pulled my hand back, then pushed it out, then pulled it back in again. I can't believe I'm here, standing in front of Bianca's and Fiona's loft, debating if I should knock. Maybe I should just leave, she probably needs time to recover from her break up. Yeah, I'll just go. I was spinning on my black low top Converses when the loft door pulled open. I froze in my steps.

"Adam?" I heard her voice smooth through my ears, I flinched my shoulders slightly at the feeling her voice made me feel. I turned slowly, meeting her gaze. Her brown hair was perfectly brown, falling around her beautiful face like an aura. Her creamy milk chocolate eyes gleamed with tiny specks of gold. Her lips had a light dusting of lip stick on them, probably left over from the day. She had baggy yet quite sliming track pants on, I tired my best to not notice how well they defined her...body. I swallowed deeply as my eyes made their way up to her revealed belly button ring. Christ, she was...hot. Her stomach was perfectly toned and the right amount of tanned. A real tan, not a fake one. My eyes found her lips again to see a self satisfied smirk forming on them. She say me looking, I gulped deeply, I think, out loud.

"Would you like to come in, Adam?" She asked, stepping away from the doorway, revealing her and Fiona's very fashionable apartment. I was so tempted to step by her but I stood my ground. "No." I said as firmly as I could. Her smile slightly faltered but then turned into an annoyed expression. She rolled her eyes once.

"Then why the hell are you here?" She asked, looking about ready to close the door on my face and I would be back out here all alone. "I'm...I'm...here to, uh, to..." To kiss you, I thought in my head but never did say it out loud. That would be totally pathetic. Bianca clenched her jaw and did this really adorable thing with her nose.

"Stuttering is really not an attractive feature with a boy, Adam." She stated bluntly and I blushed deeply. "And blushing like a girl." Like a girl, like a girl. I AM _not_ a girl. Not anymore. I closed my eyes briefly. God, why did she have to be so mean sometimes? I despise that I want her. I hate that I love her. She saw my frustration and sadness clear on my face. She hesitated to reach out to me but decided better of it. She opened her mouth once, then again.

"Adam, I didn't mean-" But I cut her off to soon. "Why did you break up with Drew?" I asked her suddenly, rejecting the words once I spoke them. Her smile completely vanished and she casted her eyes to the floor.

"Adam, it's...it's not a break up. We're on a break." She mumbled to the floor. A break? What does she even mean by that? She still want to be with him?


	5. Chapter 5

**Bianca's P.O.V:**

I should've known. Of course, Drew would sent over Adam to do some digging. What were little brothers for anyways? My heart plummeted to the floor at the thought that he only came for that reason. I should've just stayed in the loft, answering the billions of texts that Owen sent me.

"D-do you love him, Bianca?" Adam's question made my eyes blast up from the floor. Did I love Drew? I pandered this question many and many times before, the truth is, I did. I did love Drew, but not the way I should. Not the way everyone thinks. I love Drew but I am not...in...love with him. I stared into Adam's endlessly baby blue eyes, glimmering in the dim light of the apartment building's hallway. I should tell him what I was supposed to say. I should tell him what everyone else thinks I feel. I should tell him the RIGHT thing to say but I couldn't lie to Adam. I could trust him, so I told him how I truly felt for once.

"Yes. I do love Drew." I said to him, searching for his eyes to look back at me. Once I spoke, his shoulders slumped and he sighed. He was nodding along with them but his eyes were forever downcast. "But, Adam, I am not IN love with him." I said and his head whipped up. His blue eyes was ablaze, his mouth slightly open in pure awe. Then his whole stature was taken over by some power, something that was too powerful for him to stop. His eyes took a heavy cover of lust, his lips began to quiver.

"That's all I needed to hear." He whispered heavily, making my spine shiver. He swept me up in his new found muscular arms and brought his lips to mine. Wow, oh wow. Before his tongue became in contact with mine, I already let out a fevered moan. You know, in those romantic comedies, when at the very end the main guy comes running up the street, with a sappy Coldplay song in the background, right towards the self assured, head strong heroine? Yeah, well, that is how Adam kisses me. Like so many opportunities open up with his kisses. I feel breathless but alive at the same time, I feel calm but excited, I feel beautiful but yet still a little sexy. His hands haven't roamed anywhere but the small of my back while I can't keep my hands off of him. I have my hands creeping up his shirt hem, reaching up his unbelievably sculpted abs, then to his ripped arms. A moan escape my mouth as my hands fall on his heart beat, beating as fast as mine. It felt like...like...we were one. Adam's lips, sadly, left mine but do only explore my bare skin at my neck and collarbone. I reached my chin, giving him better access as I gripped his plain white thin t-shirt. He stopped kissing me and made eye contact with me. A shy smirk played on his lips as his eyes sparkled brightly. I smiled deeply back at him.

"To answer your question, yes," kiss on my cheek, "yes," a kiss on my other cheek, "yes," a kiss right under my jawline. I grit my teeth together to hold in the groan of need. He reached my lips and kissed me until I was breathless. My heart slammed against my rib cage, my blood thumping through my ears, my lungs rushing for air.

"And yes. I would love to come in." He said and sent me a amazing smile. I giggled as I opened the door to the loft. I grabbed his hand and led him into my bedroom. I slammed the door and turned towards Adam again. He stood in the middle of the my room, right in front of the bed. He had his hands crossed in front of him, his eyes wandering through my room. He seemed to be avoiding my gaze. I stepped before him and softly turned his face to look at me. I tilted my head and leaned in. I could already feel the exciting jitters move through in anticipation.

**Adam's P.O.V:**

The front door to her apartment bursted open once Bianca pushed me onto the bed. She had just straddled me with her legs, her back bending perfectly to have amazing access at me neck. She began giving me light kisses, matching my unbelievable heart beat. I had to steady my breathing but before I had a chance to kiss her, I heard Fiona's voice.

"Hey, B! We decided to get take out!" She yelled from the front door. Bianca sighed deeply and let her head fall into the crook of my neck. "I'm sorry..." She said miserably as she slowly got off of me. I reached for her hand and she turned her head lightly.

"Hey, don't be. I was the one who came barging in anyways." I whispered with a little smile on my face. She giggled quietly, with her hand slightly covering her luscious lips. "You did come barging in, didn't you?" She said, her giggle turning into a laugh. She was leaning in but before she could kiss me, two figures bursted through her bedroom door. We froze and then, somewhat delayed, bursted apart.

"B, you hungry..." Imogen asked from the doorway but her voice wandered off once she saw us. Her expression screamed surprised. Fiona came into the light and her face lapsed into surprise also but not for long.

"Oh, hey, Adam. You hungry? We have enough food. Do you mind getting them out in bowls, please? With some forks." She said, smiling at me. She didn't look the least bit surprised. I looked at the three girls, my stare lingering on Bianca for much longer than necessary.

"Um, yeah. I'm starved, thanks for the invite." I said and grazed my fingers over Bianca's hand a little before I left the room. Even though this situation was serious, I knew Bianca had a little smirk on her mouth also.


	6. Chapter 6

**Adam's P.O.V:**

I walked out of Degrassi, the first day didn't go as bad as I thought it would be. There was too many stares and I felt like I needed to get out of there. Walking down the steps, I looked around for Bianca. We hadn't talked or texted since last night...Last night. Last night was amazing... SHE was amazing. I never thought she would even look at me, but there she was, kissing me. I looked around the courtyard looking for the beautiful girl. But she was no where to be found.

She wasn't hanging out with Imogen or Fiona. She wasn't with her regular posse, Owen and Fitz. She didn't have her regular admirers around her. My throat became dry as my heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to state the obvious because it pierced my heart like a knife. Drew wasn't around. Neither was his car, or hers. Was I just a stupid mistake? Is she back together with Drew? Fear crept into my system. Clare and Eli walked down the steps, lacing their hands together.

"Hi, Adam!" Clare used her free hand to wave at me while Eli sent me a bashful smile.

"Sorry, guys! I can't hang out, sorry!" I shouted back to them while hurriedly pacing down the street. I began to sprint once everyone from Degrassi was out of view. My arms and legs puffed in sync. Five minutes later, I was in front of my house. Drew's car was in the driveway, just as I expected it to be. I took a deep breath, knowing that Bianca was inside, alone with Drew.

I opened the door to hear voices. "Drew..." I heard Bianca's hesitant voice, making me stop cold. I swallowed slowly, determined to not making any noise. Wanting to hear what they were saying.

"Bianca. Tell me you don't want this." He said and it was quiet for what felt like forever. I heard faint sounds that sounded like...like swapping spit. Suddenly, I felt enraged. I stomped my way through the house, turning the kitchen corner and entering the living room. Bianca and Drew stood right in front of each other, their lips locked in what looked like a passionate kiss. I made a grumbling sound in the back of my throat. They both jumped apart and Bianca turned around.

Drew was my brother, and I loved him, but I was about to punch him square in the face until I saw Bianca. Her face held no quilt, no remorse, just pure surprise. My heart bursted out. Drew was smiling widely behind her. "Do you mind, Lil' Bro?" He asked, one of his eyebrows raised in a dirty way. Bianca stared at me, her eyes becoming desperate.

"Adam..." She said, begging me to understand. I was about to tell Drew that I minded, I minded very much, but I didn't. I didn't pull Bianca into me for a kiss that would make both of our toes curl. I didn't stand up and fight for her. I faked the most miserable smile I could muster.

"Right. Sorry, I intruded." I said and swiveled on my heel. I walked feverish towards the stairs and opened my door in a quick motion. I started to breath heavily, my lungs beginning to burn. I need to run again, I needed to to something. That's when I noticed that I didn't hear the familiar click of my lock when I closed my bedroom door. I stopped pacing and lifted my head. My eyes traveled up Bianca DeSousa's wonderful body. I began with her short black pumps that she was wearing, showing off her sexy red nailed toes. I swallowed deeply. My eyes found their way up her skin tight blue jeans that make her literally look like a walking goddess. She was wearing a plain red V-neck t-shirt that went along with the colors on her toes. Then, quickly avoiding a lingering stare at her...um...chest, I made my way up her tanned neck to find her eyes. They were wide, very innocent, but yet her smirk told me that she knew I was checking her out. Well, it wasn't like I tried to hide it or anything.

My heart melted inside of me. Then my eyes caught her lips, which were swollen and beautifully plumb. Looking like her lips were just throughly kissed, and they were, by Drew. I turned my gaze away as her smirk faltered.

"Adam..." She said and her voice wandered around my room. "So this is what your room looks like... I like it. Simple." She said and smiled at me, trying to get me to smile back. I had to move away from her, knowing that I would fall under her spell if I looked at her any longer. I went into my closet and shut the door. I began to gather my running close.

"A-Adam?" I heard her earnest voice, but I said nothing. I heard her sigh deeply. She was immensely irritated. I shrugged on my plain black Nike work out shirt while slipping on simple black Nike basketball shorts. I was tying up my running shoes as she began to speak.

"Look, Adam, we aren't official or anything like that. You know that, right?" She asked into the silence in my room. I completely stopped. The fussing outside stopped. So I was just a stupid mistake to her, I knew it. I knew it. But she spoke again. "I...I didn't mean it like that, Adam. Just, for most of my high school life, I've been with Drew. Drew's girlfriend. I haven't really experienced anything outside of that, except for those stupid silly hook ups." She was silent.

"But, with you, it was different. I didn't expect it be different with you, I didn't expect ANYTHING with you. I was ready to be single, I was ready to, you know, play the field. No relationships. But...now, between Drew and...and...," She hesitated for a moment, "and you. I am conflicted." That's when I figured out that I would always forgive Bianca, and that I always have. After finally, FINALLY, being able to be with her...I just couldn't give the precious moment away. No matter what or whom gets in the way. I turned the knob to see her right in front of me. She was standing there, waiting for me, and I couldn't believe it. I reached for my iPod and earphones. I sighed and turned towards the door, not looking at her in the eyes.

"Adam, the kiss...the kiss was unexpected." She said simply and I nodded. "But you wanted it?" I asked so softly and she began to shake her head, then hesitated. "Yes." She said and casted her stare away from me. I opened my bedroom door, preparing to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" She asked from my bed. "I'm going for a run." I said and stepped out into the hallway but stopped. I whipped around and bent before Bianca because she was sitting on my bed sheets. Bianca DeSousa was sitting on my bed, I felt like screaming it to the whole world. But I stayed quiet. I reached for one of her hands delicately, warmth spreading through me rapidly. I loved it. I loved her, but she wasn't ready to hear that.

"Bianca, please, please." I said desperately and she inclined her head.

She rubbed smooth and very soothing circles on the palms of my hands. "Please, what, Adam?" She asked with a tilt of her head.

"You can date anyone you want, be the person you want to be, Bianca. But...just...j-just, please give me a chance. Bianca, just give me a chance to prove to you that...that...I can love you just as much as the next guy." I said and her eyes widened, her smile crept through. It made my stomach flip, but in a good way. A very good way.

"What if I'm not ready to love, Adam?" She asked me but her smile was still plastered on her face. She looked so beautiful and I loved her when she teased me but she was being serious now, even if she didn't show it. I knew her. I stood, letting go of her hand and stood in the doorway.

"Everything, every single thing that I have gone through, it was for you. I wanted you, Bianca. I loved you from the beginning, Bianca DeSousa. Don't you think I would wait?" I left her there, in my bedroom, questioning what I just said.


	7. Chapter 7

_Adam's P.O.V:_

"Hey, Adam. Have you seen Bianca yet?" Drew asked as he walked inside of the house from the patio door that led from the pool, which was now filled with swimming suit clad teen body, indulging in beer and making out hormones. I turned my eyes away from the scene, not really wanted to see who the next cheerleader that Dallas had found. I cringed inwardly at the thought. Then I cringed thinking of the positions being switched, that Dallas was Drew and the nameless cheerleader was Bianca. I knew that was what Drew was exactly thinking. I looked up to Drew, looking away from my denim blue jeans. "Um, Fi texted me that Bianca, Imogen and her were coming soon. Together." I said, somberly as I stared back out to the pool again. Drew clapped my back, now smiling widely knowing that Bianca was coming soon. "Awesome. Thanks, man." He said and observed my state of dress. He punched my arm lightly. "Alright, dude. You did not just run away for three months and scare us al to death just so you could cover up your assets, man! Go up stairs and put on some swim trunks!" He yelled as he staggered towards the keg for more beer, which I actually think he didn't need more of. I was planning on just staying there on the couch, fully clothed with only the skin of my hands showing, until one of those nameless blonde, skin tight short skirts cheerleaders slid in beside me. "I would sure love to see your assets, Adam." She cooed and rubbed my arm lightly, over my basketball sweater. She wasn't as beautiful or as alluring as Bianca, but she was a pretty girl who was showing me attention. And popular, at that. I stood and nodded at her, motioning that I was going to go get changed. And, then, I was suddenly one of those hormone raged teens in the pool.

When I came back down, with only my swim trunks on, and my chest bare, I saw everyone's attention averted to the front door. I heard dog whistles, and crude statements like "Nice bikini, B.", something like that. She was here, she was here. I could literally feel myself panicking, what if she didn't like me without a shirt on, what if I didn't compare to Drew's abs. Oh, God. My stomach flip flops as I watch Drew run towards the door where, probably, Bianca, Fi and Imogen came through. Most were already out at the pool and I was seriously wondering if I could escape out to the pool fast enough without Bianca noticing me. But, then, I thought that I would miss her walking out in her, apparently, great bikini. And that would be like missing a lifetime of milestones in my life. That made me freeze where I was. Bianca's beautiful body...in a red bikini...God. Then she walked out through the doorway, with Drew following close behind, like a slobbering puppy, tight on a leash. My breath caught as she turned towards me.

_Bianca's P.O.V:_

It was like the bathroom mishap all over again, except for that I already know what that tight fit stomach feels like over a thin white shirt. His bare broad chest made me ache to reach out and touch him. With my hands, my lips, my everything. Fi pumped into me from behind, pushing me along through the crowd. I went with her much to my dismay, because I wanted to stare at Adam longer, maybe for the rest of the night. Drew settled in behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist, slowly making their way into regions that I didn't want his hand at the moment. This was going to be a long night.


	8. Author's Note

_Author's Note:_

_Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for the reviews. The reviews are my inspiration to continue this story, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's the truth. I don't usually finish my stories, I usually just stop a couple of pages in and move on to another story, but I will try my hadest to make this story my best, since it seems to be my biggest so far. I have wrote stories like this for a fairly long amount of time, but this is the first time I have ever shared them so, again, I thank you for giving awesome reviews._

_- Ceaselessly into the past. _

_P.S, if anyone was wondering, my username is a little fragment from the last quote from my favorite novel, "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald._


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